MJ of Accounting
by nate smith

I am the Michael Jordan of Accounting.

The office is my court. 
The fax machine my hoop. 

Dockers relaxed fit wrinkle free khakis and a white button up polo are my home jersey.

Accounting is my sport,
and I am the Michael Jordan of it. 

Tip off is at 8am, every morning. 
We play 'til 5pm with an hour-long half time for lunch.

As I come through the hallway ready to start the game, my teammates give me low fives and pat me on the butt. 

My opponent, a menacing stack of paperwork, stares me down as I hit the court. 

It's go time.  

I flip on my computer and set my play into motion. 
I drive at my first defender,
the paper on the top of the stack. 
My fingers blaze on the keyboard
as I dribble through the information. 

I Ctrl+S and then Ctrl+P around the paper,
breaking its ankles as I slip by. 

As I move to the basket the defense doubles up on me.  A teammate runs by,
drawing his defender to me. 
The pressure doesn't break me;
it only makes me stronger. 

I pass the ball to the big man inside to alleviate the strain, but he passes it right back.  I take it to the fax machine strong and jam it home hard.  2-0.

The game continues to be intense throughout the day.  The other team's coach constantly throws more and more defenders at me and I dispose of them one at a time all the while with my eye on the prize. 

The end of the day is near
and my sleeves are rolled up. 
3 papers left on my desk. 
I knock out the first two
with a fade away jumper from behind the desk. 

Only one paper left now. 

I get a fast break down the hallway
leaving my last defender behind. 
I leap for the fax machine
and pull a reverse jam
so I can see the look of defeat on my opponents face.

5 pm. 
The buzzer sounds. 
My desk is clear.