Rip City Revival!!!

Just as the 2006-7 Portland Trailblazers are mathematically eliminated from yet another playoff bid, the 2003-4 PS2 Blazers have just earned a trip to the 2004 NBA Finals.

'It's kind of weird hearing that our real squad didn't make the playoffs,' said 2004 PS2 MVP, Rookie of the Year and Defensive Player of the Year LaMarcus Aldridge, 'but I am just glad I am on the good version of the Blazers.'

The PS2 Blazers defeated the rival PS2 Lakers four games to one in the Western Conference Finals.

'I was intimidated at first,' said Brandon Roy, 'but Kobe hogs it more than in real life. We made fast work of those clowns.'

Mercurial Blazer forward Rasheed Wallace quipped dismissing the Lakers in five games, 'It was a good game. We played hard. The Lakers played on rookie mode.'

Team captain Jarrett Jack, while only averaging 3.2 points per game in the WCF, had plenty to say about the now-vanquished Lakers:

'They weren't hard. Shaq stinks. Kobe stinks. Rick Fox definitely stinks. Rick Fox must be slathering up with some of that stank eastern-European musk Vlade used to use. Seriously, what was that? One part cabbage, two parts roadkill? He knocked into me on a few of those high screens, I'm gonna need to shower twice after coming in contact with that. I'm just gonna let him score next time, it's not worth subjecting my nostrils to those Fox fumes again. I wish we would have won in four, I hope the damage to my nasal passage isn't permanent.'

The Blazers will play the Indiana Pacers for the 2004 PS2 NBA Championship.